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Ikester
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« on: July 28, 2010, 04:23:08 PM » |
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One guy's approach:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.......but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2010, 06:05:54 PM » |
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I wouldn't have the balls to try that... All I can see is physical damage and extreme pain
oh and no sex..... forever
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mister2
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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2010, 02:17:10 PM » |
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After that you would probably have lost the appropriate equipment anyway. The plus side is that castrati sing very well, apparently ...
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Ikester
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« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2010, 03:30:01 PM » |
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Apparently? Apparently you sing soprano.
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« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2010, 05:37:57 PM » |
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I am quite sure anything apparent is dangerous when we are talking about equipment
or standing in the way of a woman and a cash register
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Ikester
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« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2010, 11:23:19 PM » |
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Talking about equipment, apparently you lost yours.
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« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2010, 07:20:27 AM » |
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that seems to be apparent
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Taz71498
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« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2010, 08:07:48 AM » |
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hmmm, not sure what to say....the girl must not like sex much.
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Ikester
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« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2010, 04:40:28 PM » |
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Apparently Venus has that effect.
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« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2010, 08:34:57 PM » |
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apparently I am left of centre or is it right?
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mister2
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« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2010, 09:53:38 PM » |
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Dunno - which side do you dress?
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« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2010, 08:08:47 AM » |
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when you are facing me, or behind?
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mister2
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« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2010, 02:10:28 PM » |
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When I'm wondering where you've gone and you're behind me ...
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« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2010, 06:24:44 AM » |
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ah in that case, right
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Ikester
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« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2010, 02:39:25 PM » |
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Dodge left!
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